My Childbirth Story

My due date was a week away and so was my wedding anniversary. We were excited to welcome our baby on our special day; but babies have their own plans!

The last minute shopping left me tired and by the time I reached home I was already having a backache. I couldn't sleep properly that night but thought I'll be fine if I take some rest.

When I woke up I didn't feel any better. As the day progressed I realized that the pain was not continuous but rhythmic. That panicked me badly but I decided to monitor it for some more time.    

I tried to take a nap after lunch but I could not. The pain increased and so did my anxiety. I finally called up the hospital and gave them a detailed description. They asked me to wait at home till the contractions get closer but if I am really anxious I can come for a check-up. I definitely chose the latter option and in an hour’s time we were all in the hospital.

At the reception they asked me if I needed a wheelchair to which I said no but I kept wondering how come am able to walk when others are requiring assistance. They guided me to the check-up room to monitor the contractions and heart rate.

The hospital bed was comfortable and I felt better. Though my anxiety was over yet I could see the anxious faces of my hubby and his mom sitting quietly by my side! While we were all waiting patiently in the cosy room we suddenly heard a scream in the adjacent delivery room. We looked at each other as she continued to scream and I started wondering again, how is it that I am not screaming, is this a false labour?

After a while the nurse checked the details and said that my mucus plug has dislodged and I have entered into early labour. I panicked again. She asked me to go back home and take good rest as this was too early to get admitted. She also asked to keep monitoring my contractions and return when they are 10 minutes apart and gave a medicine that would help me sleep better.

That night after dinner I took the medicine and with numerous thoughts in my mind and discomfort in the abdomen I didn’t realize when did I fall asleep.

Next morning I had my last routine check-up before my due date and I wanted to go for it to ensure everything is fine. The doctor examined and said the dilation was of 3 cms and I’ll have to wait till it becomes 10 cms to be able to deliver. It was going to be a long process and the doctor insisted in keeping my mind diverted. She explained in simple terms, if there are more happy hormones in the body the pain hormones will not trouble much. So keep yourself happy, watch funny videos, think of happy memories and remember, “Labour is tough but women are tougher.”

That did instill some confidence in me and I returned home happily watching the beautiful snowfall on the way. By now the pain had intensified, it was not just backache but my entire abdomen was affected. I kept religiously monitoring every contraction in my mobile app.

I was unusually silent and didn’t feel like watching any video or thinking of happy times! My hubby constantly helped me with hot gel pack to ease my backache and while doing so we both noticed fear in each other’s face. He did try to divert my mind by starting a silly discussion on which funny videos shall we carry with us to the hospital and his list also included our wedding video!

The medicine helped me take a nap but when I was awake I realized the contractions were getting stronger. It felt like needle piercing all over my abdomen and I could not talk or walk during contractions. I suddenly lost all confidence, it was difficult to bear the pain and I started crying. The contractions were still not close enough to go to the hospital but the pain was severe and so we decided to leave for the hospital before it’s too late.

I could not even stand properly and somehow reached the parking. When we reached the hospital I asked for a wheelchair and then I realized why at the reception they were offering me one last evening!

I was directly taken to one of the delivery rooms.  By now the pain was unbearable and I started groaning in agony. The nurse was very sweet and tried her best to make me comfortable. She tried making me sit in different postures, helped me get out of the bed for a walk, made me lie down in the best possible manner but all in vain. Truly speaking, nothing works!

After a while the doctor came for check-up and said my dilation was still 3cms. That was devastating to hear; I have been in labor for almost two days now and still there's no progress. My doctor gently placed her hand on my forehead and said, "It takes time don't worry. We'll try something else to make you comfortable."

I was then asked to try the bathtub for sometime. Yes, the warm water was definitely soothing but only till the next bout of contraction. When the pain triggers it doesn't really matter whether you are in land, water or air! It is unbearable.

My hubby and his mom were silent like never before. I couldn't see them clearly and by now I couldn't even breathe properly. I felt like I might die the next moment and so I somehow said him to ask for an epidural.

The nurse said she would take at least half-an-hour to make all the arrangements and for that I was brought back to the bed. I was thirsty but I couldn't even drink water as the contractions came gushing one after the other.

I was examined again and by then the anaesthetist was ready with the epidural. I was glad to know that the dilation was now 5cms.  I was completely drained out and required help to sit for the procedure. Moments later I started feeling better. The pain was gone, my legs were numb and I was breathing again.

I was exhausted and wanted to sleep and even my family got some time to relax. I had no clue what time of the day it was but the room was dark and cozy and I slept.

Soon I woke up to a sudden chaos in the room. I saw the nurse, doctor, anaesthetist, a few more medical staff and my family all standing surrounding me. I thought may be its now time to deliver the baby but the doctor said something else.

There was a sudden drop in my baby's heart rate and the dilation was at 7cms. For a normal delivery we had to wait longer but with this heart rate it was not possible and so the doctor suggested a cesarian delivery.

I was scared, upset and anxious all at the same time and prayed for my baby to be safe. I was soon taken to the operation theatre where only my hubby was allowed. By now I was impatient, I wanted my baby to come to this world soon. While they carried on the operation I started feeling cold. I could barely keep my eyes open and started shivering. They covered me with a warm blanket and immediately after that I heard the magical first cry!

My baby was born. The ecstasy of that moment is beyond words. I couldn't hold back my tears when I saw my hubby walk towards me carrying our bundle of joy in his arm.

Like every child is unique so is every child birth story. The memories of it will remain fresh forever. 

बाबा

बाबा

बाबा के लिए लिखने जाऊँ तो शब्द कम पर जाते है
बचपन लौट आता है मेरा, आँख भर आते है

छोटे छोटे हाथो ने कि है ना जाने कितनी शरारते
डाँट कभी भी पड़ी नहीं, बाबा सदा मुस्कुराते

शांत स्वभाव ठंडा दिमाग़ सहनशीलता के देवता
कितनी भी कठिन परिस्थिति हो चेहरे पे कभी नहीं दिखता

गणित हो या संगीत हो सब मे रुचि उन्होंने दिखाया
चाई बनाने का सही तारिक भी बाबा ने ही मुझको सिखाया

डगमगाती साइकल के पीछे भागते हुए उन्होंने मेरा डर भगाया
अपने निराले तरीक़े से हर पल मेरा आत्मविश्वास बढ़ाया

समय के पाबंद है वो समय की क़दर करते है
धूप या बारिश में भी हर काम समय पे करते है

शाम को पूजा करके शंख मैं बजाती थी
फिर देर तक हार्मोनीयम पे संगीत का रियाज़ करती थी

बाबा को मेरा गाना पसंद था वो मेरे साथ गुनगुनाते थे
कभी कभी ख़ुश होने पे वो गाना भी संग गा लेते थे

रिज़ल्ट अच्छा हो या बुरा बाबा मिठाई ज़रूर लाते थे
माँ के डाँट से बचाते थे और माँ को भी माना लेते थे

ना जाने क्यूँ मैं निकल पड़ी पूरा करने सपनो को
रो पड़ती हूँ अकेले में याद करने अपनो को

जीवन के हर निर्णय को ख़ुद लेने का हौसला दिया
पढ़ाई हो या शादी हो मेरे हर ज़िद को पूरा किया

विदाई के वक़्त सबसे पहले बाबा ही रो पड़े
उनको देख के मेरे आँखों से आँसू ख़ुद ही निकल पड़े

आज भी रोती हूँ मैं छुपके जब भी बाबा की याद आती है
क्यूँ मैं इतनी दूर हूँ उनसे सोच के ख़ामोशी छा जाती है

काश मैं कभी बड़ी ना होती ना जाती उनसे दूर
काश जीवन की कोई रीत ना होती ना होती मैं मजबूर

Let's Go Back

Let's Go Back

Let's go back to the days so free,
When our world meant just you and me,
Those were the days without worry and stress,
Time spent in peace and quietness

Let's go back to the morning dew,
To the beginning when everything was new,
Laughing together would made my day,
In silence you heard what I strived to say

Let's go back to the picturesque evenings,
A coffee, a corner and talks never-ending,
Watching the moon in the starry nights,
When nothing was wrong, just perfect and right

Let's go back to the clear blue sky,
When we gave wings to our thoughts and they flew high,
Let's go back to that musical rain,
Let's just fall in love again

Will You Be My Valentine

"Will You Be My Valentine"


What's love? To me it's you,
I feel loved in everything you do

The joy you get in treating me like a princess, 
And how you strive in bringing all the happiness 

I wonder if you are real or there's an angel in you,
Is this a dream world I live in or is it all true

The day we met was a day so sweet,
And we knew, life together is going to be a treat

I am quite to some and chirpy to the rest,
But you are the one who knows me the best

You tease me, you love me and shoo the blues away,
Everything you do is unique in its own way

There's craziness in your ardor and sometimes you are so sane,
I keep falling in love with you over and over again

For all the years and lives to come I want you to be mine,
So I ask you with all my love, will you be my valentine?