माँ बनने के बाद मेरा पहला जन्मदिन

जन्मदिन की ख़ुशी किसे नहीं होती। उम्र चाहे कुछ भी हो, मन में उत्सुकता तो आ ही जाती है। और इस बार तो हमारे साथ हमारा नन्हा कान्हा भी था मेरे इस दिन को और ख़ास बनाने के लिए।

एक दिन पहले ही मेरे पति ने पूरी योजना बना ली थी घूमने फिरने का। मैंने भी पूरी तैयारी कर ली थी, क्या पहनना है, बेटे को क्या पहनना है, अलग से एक बैग भी तैयार कर लिया था।

रात को अचानक हमारे कुछ दोस्त आ गए केक लेकर! उस वक़्त मैं मेरे बेटे को सुला रही थी पर वो सो ही नहीं रहा था। सबके आने की आवाज़ सुनकर तो वो उठकर बैठ ही गया। मैं उसको लेकर बाहर आ गयी सबसे मिलने। बाहर आते ही उसने रोना शुरू कर दिया। मुझे लगा शायद सबको देख कर डर गया होगा। वो बिलकुल मेरे गोद से उतरना ही नहीं चाह रहा था। अपने पापा के गोद में भी नहीं जा रहा था। जैसे तैसे उसको लेकर ही मैंने केक काटा! मेरा पूरा ध्यान तो उस पे ही था। पता नहीं इतना अलग व्यव्हार क्यूँ कर रहा था। इतना तो कभी नहीं रोता।

मेरा ध्यान भटकता देख मेरे दोस्त भी मुझे समझने लगे की बच्चे की नींद नहीं हुई शायद इसलिए इतना रो रहा है। मुझे ख़राब भी लग रहा था कि वो लोग ज़्यादा बैठ नहीं पाए। सबके जाते ही मैं तुरंत वापिस उसे सुलाने की कोशिश करने लगी। जन्मदिन के लिए सबके फ़ोन भी आने लगे थे। किसी का भी फ़ोन उठा नहीं पायी।

वो काफ़ी देर तक रोता रहा फिर मेरे गोद में ही सो गया। उसकी नींद लगी तो मेरे जान में जान आयी। कुछ समझ नहीं आया की उसको अचानक हुआ क्या।

उसके सोने के बाद मुझे वक़्त मिला मेरा फ़ोन देखेने का। पर तब तक बहुत रात हो चुकी थी इसलिए मैंने सबको सुबह फ़ोन करने का सोचा और थोड़ी देर में हम भी सो गए।

सुबह उठते ही सबसे पहले घर से फ़ोन आ गया। उनसे बात हो ही रही थी कि इतने में फिरसे दूसरे कमरे से रोने की आवाज़ आयी। मैं भाग कर गयी तो देखा वो बैठ कर रो रहा था। मैंने उसे थोड़ी देर गोद में रखा तो वो वापिस सो गया। मैं वापिस चिंता करने लग गयी की ये इतना रो क्यूँ रहा है।

क़रीब दस बजे के आस पास मैं फ़ोन पे बातें कर रही थी तब मेरे पति ने मुझे आवाज़ लगायी। जाके देखा तो मेरे बच्चे ने पूरे बिस्तर पे उलटी कर दी थी और ज़ोर ज़ोर से रो रहा था। मेरे पति ने उसे बिस्तर से उठाया तो पता चला उसे तो बुखार है। इससे पहले उसे कभी बुखार हुआ नहीं इसलिए हमें पता भी नहीं था की बुखार में करते क्या है। और उसका रोना देख के हम और घबरा गए।

हमने तुरंत डॉक्टर को फ़ोन करके सब बताया। उन्होंने हमें मिलने बुलाया। वहाँ जाके पता चला उसे वाइरल हो गया है। बुखार ज़्यादा था इसलिए तुरंत इंजेक्शन देना पड़ा। पूरी जाँच हुई, लम्बाई, वज़न, कान का जाँच सब हुआ। उसे ये सब बिलकुल भी अच्छा नहीं लग रहा था और बार बार मेरे गोद में आने के लिए रो रहा था।

सब जाँच होने के बाद डॉक्टर बोली इसका मूत्र जाँच भी करना पड़ेगा ताकि पता चल जाए की और कुछ नहीं हुआ है। उसके लिए उन्होंने एक पाउच लगा कर ऊपर से डाइपर पहना दिया और कहा वो थोड़ी देर में वापिस आएँगी।

दवाई का असर होने लगा था इसलिए अब वो ख़ुशी से खेल रहा था। थोड़ी देर बाद जब डॉक्टर आयी तो उन्होंने देखा कि अब तक पाउच खली है। उन्होंने बोला इसे और दस मिनट देते है शायद तब तक हो जाए! दस मिनट बाद भी कुछ नहीं हुआ था पर अब उसे भूख लगने लगी थी। डॉक्टर को पूछ के मैंने उसे पहले थोड़ा खाना खिला दिया और उसने थोड़ा पानी भी पिया। हमने डाइपर देखा पर तब भी कुछ नहीं हुआ था।

डॉक्टर बोली इसे थोड़ा बाहर घुमा लाओ, चलने से शायद हो जाए! हम तीनो बाहर चलने गए। तब तो हमें भी भूख लग गयी थी और हँसी भी आ रही थी कि ये कब करेगा! क़रीब दस मिनट तक हम बाहर ही थे और बार बार उसका डाइपर देख रहे थे। आख़िर उसने किया और हम ख़ुश हो गए!

उसे गोद में लेकर हम ख़ुशी से अंदर गए इसी आशा से की अब हमें हॉस्पिटल से निकलने को मिलेगा। पर डॉक्टर बोली की थोड़ी देर बैठो, इसका जाँच तुरंत हो जाएगा। हमने भी सोचा इतनी देर यहाँ है तो और थोड़ी देर बैठ ही जाते है।

हम चुप चाप बैठ कर जाँच होने का इंतज़ार कर रहे थे। बस इसी बात की ख़ुशी थी की दवाई लेने के बाद अब मेरे बच्चे के चेहरे पे हँसी थी।

काफ़ी समय बाद डॉक्टर आयी और हँसते हुए बोलीं की अब ख़तरे की कोई बात नहीं। बस कुछ दवाइयाँ समय से देने को बोलीं। हमने हॉस्पिटल से ही दवाइयाँ ले ली और आख़िरकार बाहर निकले।

तब तक शाम के चार बज गए थे। बहुत भूख लगी थी, सोचा पहले कुछ खा ले पर बच्चे को नींद आने लगी थी इसलिए फिर सीधा घर ही आ गए। घर आते ही वो तुरंत सो गया। क़रीब पाँच बजे के आस पास हमने पिज़्ज़ा मँगवा के खाया।

पूरे दिन जो हुआ उसके बीच मैं तो भूल ही गयी की मेरा जन्मदिन था। कहाँ घूमने का सोचा था और कहाँ हॉस्पिटल घूम आए! पहली बार ऐसा बुखार आया मेरे बेटे को और वो भी ऐसे दिन आया की मुझे हमेशा याद रहेगा! माँ बन्ने के बाद पहले जन्मदिन में मैं सबकुछ भूल कर एक माँ की ही भूमिका निभाती रही।

नोट - जी हाँ, मैंने जन्मदिन भी मनाया ... पर एक हफ़्ते बाद!

A Prayer For My Baby's First Day Of School

Dear Lord,

Take care of him.

Be with him when he takes the first step to his school. My tiny baby is all set for the big journey.

I go through an emotional turmoil every time I think of staying away from him for two long hours. I never did this before. Nor did he. He gets frightened even when I lock myself in the shower for a little longer. What will he do when amidst strangers he'll not find me in school?

Will he get scared? Will he like his teacher? Will he be startled to see so many other kids? Will he cry or be able to overcome his anxiety? Will he even speak a word?

I pray to you dear Lord to make school a happy and exciting place for him. Help him enjoy so much that he doesn't miss me at all. My heart sinks when he cries and I don't want him to shed even a drop of tear on his special day. Though, am not too sure of holding back mine!

I also pray to bless the teachers with loads of patience and love. Let them understand that if he is throwing a tantrum, or shouting at the top of his voice, he is not being mean, he is seeking attention. A loving hug will do wonders. Bestow some super-powers to the teachers so that they can be equally attentive to every child in the class. I don't want my baby to hurt himself when his teacher is not looking at him.

I pray to you dear Lord to provide strength to all the children in his class who would be staying away from the comfort of their homes for the first time. Keep them calm and cheerful, help them obey their teachers and be good to each other.

Deep inside I am excited too! I still can't believe my just born baby is all grown up and ready for school. I can't wait to see him wear his new uniform, carry his bag and bottle on his shoulders, wear socks and shoes in his tiny feet and wave me goodbye from his school bus!

I just hope everything happens as smoothly as I am currently visualizing. I wish he does all this with a smile and makes it less difficult for me.

Grant him all the vigour dear Lord. Don't let anything deter his confidence. Help him be the ever smiling, super active kid in the school as well, just the way he is at home.

My prayers are not only for him but also for his peers, teachers and all the caretakers of his school. They will all play an important role in creating and providing a healthy environment for my child to flourish and grow.

Hope his first day of school becomes a memorable one that we'll cherish forever!

Amen,

An Anxious Mom

अगर ससुराल में भी एक माँ होती

मायका तो माँ से ही है। कैसा होता अगर ससुराल में भी एक माँ होती। कोई होता जो हमारा ख़याल रखता, हमें समझता, हमसे प्यार करता।

एक दुल्हन जब ससुराल पोहोचती है, उसके मन में कई सवाल होते है। मैं कहाँ बैठूँ, चुप रहूँ या बात करूँ, कितना खाना खाऊँ, चाई में शक्कर कितना डालूँ, खाने में तिखा डालूँ या नहीं। सोचो, अगर ससुराल में भी एक माँ होती तो कुछ सोचना ही नहीं पड़ता।

हर घर के अपने अलग तौर-तरीक़े, रीति-रिवाज होते है और नयी बहु से ऐसी उम्मीद की जाती है कि वो एक ही दिन में इस नए घर की रंग में ढल जाए। ऐसे में अगर कोई ऐसा मिल जाए जो हमारे मन की भावनाओं को समझ ले तो ससुराल को घर बनते देर नहीं लगती।

मुझे मिली एक ऐसी ही माँ मेरे ससुराल में। मेरी सासुमाँ।

पहले दिन से ही उन्होंने मुझे अपना बेटी माना और सिर्फ़ कहने के लिए नहीं, दिल से बेटी माना। बड़े प्यार से हर नयी चीज़ समझायी, हर काम में मेरा साथ दिया, हर ग़लती को माफ़ किया। और देखते ही देखते एक माँ-बेटी का अटूट रिश्ता बन गया।

धीरे धीरे एक दूसरे की आदतें भी पता चलने लगी। हम दोनो काफ़ी एक जैसे ही है। हम चाई को कभी ना नहीं कहते, हमें दो क़दम चलना भी अच्छा नहीं लगता, हमें साथ में ख़रीदारी करना बहोत पसंद है और बाहर जाते है तो पिज़्ज़ा खा कर ही लौट ते है।

ये सच है की माँ का स्थान कोई नहीं ले सकता और ऐसा नहीं है की माँ की याद नहीं आती। पर क्यूँकि माँ जैसी सासुमाँ मिल गयी है इसलिए अब हर वक़्त माँ का प्यार मुझे मिल जाता है।

हम साथ में मूवीज़ भी जाते है, देर रात तक बैठ के बातें करते है और एक दूसरे की हर ज़रूरत भी समझ लेते है। थकान भरे दिन के बाद जब सासुमाँ प्यार से मेरे बालों पे तेल मालिश कर देती है तब लगता है सचमुच हर ससुराल में एक माँ होती तो बिलकुल ऐसा होता।

An Extraordinary Mom

It was a tiring day at work. I had to skip my evening tea as well. I badly needed one but rushed to take the last bus home.

My friends in office had already scared me that when mom-in-law comes to stay with you, life becomes hell. They shared their stories how their life turned up-side-down and they lost their peace of mind.

I kept thinking of all that they said as I travelled towards my home, where my mom-in-law had come to stay with us for the first time after our marriage.

As I reached home, she opened the door with a broad smile on her face. She then brought a glass of water for me and that took me by surprise. No, she was not like the other grumpy moms-in-law! I then went to my room to change and when I came out she was waiting with a plate of homemade snacks and tea. I was completely taken aback! She was totally different from all the scary stories I heard all day.

I felt awkward and very politely I asked her not to make me feel so special. What she said next touched my heart. She said, "I do this for my daughter too, why can't I do it for you?"

I then sipped the much-awaited tea, and to my surprise, it was exactly the way I love it.

That was just the beginning, one after the other her gestures kept winning my heart and I felt comfortable in her company. We spoke for hours, giggled on most of the topics and spent a very relaxing evening together.

Next morning I reached the office with the happiest face and when I started boasting about my mom-in-law, nobody believed a word.

I went on and on and they kept staring at me with disbelief. To them, it was like a fairytale because no mom-in-law can be so generous and loving.

They finally believed that I am truly blessed with an extraordinary mom-in-law when I opened my lunchbox! It was hard for them to believe that she woke up before me and also packed my lunchbox. It was such a treat to see additional boxes of neatly cut salad and one with desert packed specially for me!

She is an inspiration, not only for me but for many. I sincerely wish every mom-in-law has such a big heart and they treat their daughters-in-law with so much love that she is not scared but waits impatiently for her next visit; like I do!

My Mommy Strongest

Moms are special, moms are strong and I dedicate this blog to my mom who for me is the strongest.

She makes everything look so easy and smooth. She managed to do every household chore, take care of outdoor work and also excelled in her career. Well, all this would sound normal but for my mom.

While she was a child she hurt her left hand badly leading to multiple fractures. My single grandma was not financially strong enough to provide proper medical treatment. That lead to a permanent damage to her hand. Neither did the hand grow as much as the other hand nor does it have enough strength to function independently.

She grew up with one hand having no strength and gradually it became a part of her life. I am purposely not using the word 'handicap' for her because she never made us felt she was one yet her medical certificate says so.

Her physical deformity didn't deter her from pursuing education, grabbing a job and raising a family with so much perfection. I wonder how she carried out every task with so much ease and elan.

I get bed ridden even with the slightest of a sprain in my body. I really salute the way she managed to do every possible task with one hand all her life.

She is so full of life that if you don't already know about her hand you won't even notice it. Her graceful sense of dressing is also a reason not many people know about it.

She never complained, never asked for help, never made anyone feel she is incapable of doing any physical task. And when you ask her the secret of her strength, she just smiles and I continue to say, "My Mommy Strongest."

Two lines directly from my heart for her,

माँ मेरी माँ दुर्गा जैसी सर्व शक्ति सवरूपिनी,

माँ से ना हो पाये दुनिया में ऐसा कोई काम नहीं |

(Ma meri ma Durga jaisi sarv shakti swarupini,

Ma se na ho paye duniya mein aisa koi kaam nahi.)

Music In My Motherhood

My baby turned one and after celebrating his first birthday I was back into the daily routine. Suddenly one day my hubby returned home with a surprise gift.

I opened it with utmost excitement and was overjoyed to find a keyboard in it. Only he can think of such a thoughtful gift.

Music has been a part of my life since childhood but over the years as I got busy with other things, it faded away. Though I didn't get time to sit with a harmonium and practice singing yet I always wanted to do so.

Like a child I immediately plugged in the keyboard and started playing! I was very excited and wanted to play all my favorite songs right away!

From that day onwards most of my time was spent playing music! But with an infant it was not easy. I would wait impatiently for him to fall asleep and then immediately lock myself in the other room and enjoy my time with keyboard.

I started recording my songs and share with my friends and family. They all appreciated and also suggested to upload them in YouTube. It was exciting so I uploaded one song just to see how it goes.

I received compliments from all around and it encouraged me to upload more songs. Gradually the number of subscribers in my YouTube channel increased and I also stared receiving requests to play songs of their choice.

Today I have more than hundred subscribers and all thanks to them, I could create my custom URL - http://www.youtube.com/c/rashiroy

I am thankful that my motherhood gave me the time to pursue my hobby and take it forward to everyone to enjoy.

I would request all mothers to take out time for themselves and spend time doing what they love to do.

Hope you enjoy my music too!

http://www.youtube.com/c/rashiroy

"You Are Excellent But I Am Sorry"

I woke up early as I was excited about the big interview. I was pretty confidant about getting the job. I had already cleared the written test and the first round of interview. Today somebody from the top management was going to take the final interview.

I reached the venue in time and saw my friend already sitting there! He too was equally excited. We were the two lucky ones who cleared all the rounds and reached the final phase.

Our mentors prepared us well for the final round and wished good luck to both of us. Now it was all up to us to get the job in our kitty.

We two were great friends so there was no question of rivalry at all. We also knew that there is just one position open and only one of us will get through.

This interview was a special one because it was for the first time we were appearing for such a big company. We knew it could shape our career well and our future was secure.

We were not nervous but we were impatient. We wanted the interview to happen soon so that we could crack the good news! After an hour of waiting we started getting even more impatient.

It was a small room with a huge black couch, a corner table with fresh flowers and a few magazines. A coffee machine that looked tempting but we pretended to be too decent to enjoy free coffee! There was also a room freshener that constantly kept making a typical irritating noice.

We had already spent an hour in the room, taking pictures, talking nonsense and feeling elated just because we were sitting in the huge couch of this huge company!

My friend decided to inquire about the interview at the reception so he went out. I preferred to be in the room till he returns. He returned with the update that our interviewer was in a meeting and the receptionist had no idea when he'll come out so we decided to finally grab a coffee and continue waiting!

After waiting for another hour or so I was asked to follow the receptionist to another room. Finally, time for the big interview!

It started with some formal questions followed by some personal ones and went on for about half-an-hour. What happened next was beyond my imagination.

He ended the interview saying, "You are excellent but I am sorry. I would prefer a male candidate for this role."

I was shocked. I got furious and I didn't sit quite. I forgot that he was from the top management and I was just a fresher. I argued, expressed my resentment and left the room with displeasure.

Yes, I was judged at a young age. I was judged even before I started my career. I was judged for being a woman.

Eight years have passed but this bitter experience is still fresh in my mind. I was disheartened but I am glad that incident didn't stop me. I thank my mentors who encouraged me to prove him wrong. Later I even bagged my dream job with a much bigger company.

I don't hold any personal grudge against the interviewer but it's really sad to see how even in today's world women are being judged just for being woman.