A Night With You

It was getting late enough to be worried. I once again stepped into the balcony and looked down. There was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Amidst heavy rain and thunder, I heard a soft knock at the door.

I moved across the gloomy room with the flickering candle in my hand. I didn't see my husband's car coming so it was definitely not him. I was a bit anxious, who could it be? As I opened the door, I froze for a moment. There was darkness, silence and a chilling breeze that made me struggle to keep the candle burning. I was dumbfounded. It was him, the love of my life.

He looked at me with his ever cheerful smile and said, "Hi!"

I kept looking at him, he didn't change a bit. He was wearing the purple shirt that I loved. Disheveled hair, clean shave, spectacles and the same old bag. He came dressed exactly the way I loved him. His face beamed in the dim light of the candle.

"Hello," he said again waving his hand.

"Varun?"

He took a step closer and said, "Yes! Now, will you let me get in?"

He took the candle from my hand, paused to look straight into my eyes and entered. He placed the candle on the table and shut the door. I was still in a state of shock and kept looking at him. I stood stock-still as he made himself comfortable.

We were not in touch after I got married. He merely vanished but I couldn't stop thinking of him. Day, night, every moment, he was in my thoughts. I was practically living in an illusionary world with him and today suddenly he stood before me!

I couldn't believe, I tried hard to figure out whether it's real or am still fantasizing. But I was too carried away to contemplate anything sensibly, so I followed him.

He was loitering around in my house as if he stayed here. He first checked the balcony, then the two bedrooms and then went inside the kitchen. He took out a bottle of water from the fridge and came towards me. Looking at him nobody would say we were meeting after such a long time. He was as calm and composed as ever.

Taking a sip he asked, "Where are you lost?"

Yes, I was lost in my own little world. We were so much in love with each other during our college days. I never imagined a life without him but when I was forced to marry someone else, I went into depression. I never spoke to my husband nor did we share our bedrooms. After this forced marriage I have cocooned myself into my own world where I still dream of living with Varun.

"Varun, where were you? I missed you so much."

"I know, that's why I am here today!"

"Do you know I still remember the beautiful days we spent together and I smile only when I think of them? I cook your favourite dishes, I watch your favourite shows and I am still reading the book you gifted me. When I wake up in the morning, I first see your photo."

Just then I freaked out at the sound of a horn. I hurried towards the balcony to check. Fortunately, it was not my husband's car. I turned to him and anxiously said, "This is not the right time to meet. My husband might come home anytime."

He pulled a chair to sit comfortably and said, "Don't worry; I'll leave before he comes."

"How can you be so sure?"

He held my hands and pulling me closer he said softly, "I came to see how you are doing. I have stopped living. Without you I am dead."

I couldn't resist and gave him a tight hug. We didn't move for a while. Regaining his composure he stepped back and started walking towards the balcony. I rushed to stop him, "Don't go outside, somebody might see you."

I panicked and took him to the other room. I hastily drew all the curtains and when I looked at him he was lying on my bed, unperturbed. He was always like this and I was just the opposite.

I angrily asked, "Why have you come here?

"Why are you so nervous? Don't worry and believe me nobody will even come to know I came here," he winked and gestured to come and sit beside him.

Still vexed I sat on the other side of the bed.

"So how's your married life going? How is your husband? Hope everything is fine."

I gave him a cold look.

He continued, "I know it's too early. It's not even a month. Why did you cancel your honeymoon?"

"I didn't want to go."

He got up to sit beside me and said gently, "Don't do this. I am sure he loves you."

"But I don't love him and he knows that," I snubbed.

"Listen," he said wiping my tears, "He is your husband. You both have to live together for the rest of your lives."

"I can't. I still dream of you. I can't stop thinking about you. When I am alone at home I feel like you are with me, talking to me, eating with me, laughing with me."

I leant back on my pillow and continued, "Nishant is a nice person. He takes care of me. I can see him taking efforts to make me happy. But the fact is, I love you."

He stopped me abruptly and said, "No, the fact is, we are not together anymore. Blame it on our families or the circumstances that we couldn't get married. But now, you have to forget me."

I looked at him with disbelief. 

Taking a deep breath he said, "I promise not to meet you ever again."

That made me skip a beat and I sobbed, "No, don't leave me. Please don't go away."

He hugged me and tried to console me but I wept, "I can't live without you. I love you."

"I love you too," he said looking into my eyes. "But this is the last time you are seeing me. I'll not come back."

It was a bizarre feeling. I felt a void in my heart and sat there like a statue. I could feel him caress my hair, kiss my neck, his hand slowly moving over my body, but I couldn't move. My vision blurred, he was fading away, I wanted to hold him tight but couldn't. I could feel him lying over me, I was numb and then I shut my eyes.

I dreamt of him every night but today it was for real. I couldn't believe it was happening to me. It was such an ecstasy.

I don't remember when we fell asleep. I woke up to a loud doorbell. I panicked badly and my heart started racing. I jumped from the bed when I realized my husband is back.

To my surprise, Varun was not in the room. I checked the washroom, the living room, the balcony, he was nowhere. The doorbell kept ringing endlessly. I tried to remember hard, when did he leave, when did I lock the door? The doorbell rang again and I rushed to open the door.

"Sorry, I disturbed your sleep."

My husband was home but where was Varun? I checked my phone; he didn't even leave a text.

"I am too tired, I'll better sleep for some time," Nishant said and walked towards his bedroom.

I was utterly petrified and sensed that something was wrong. I called up in his number but he didn't receive. I sat there thinking what to do.

I thought of checking his social media profiles in the hope of getting some contact numbers from there. I remembered blocking him everywhere in anger and that's why I was not getting any of his updates.

When I unblocked and opened his profile, it was horribly disturbing. I was taken aback. I didn't believe what I saw.

From the comments, I got his brother's number. I called him up immediately.

"Hi, I am Varun's friend, Vidhi."

"Hi Vidhi, you are too late. Varun has left us all."

My voice quivered as I asked, "How? When?"

"He met with an accident ten days ago and died on the spot. He is no more."

I started trembling and fell on the ground. I was gasping; I couldn't believe what I heard.

I ran to the bedroom, the bed sheet was neat and tidy, the curtains were open, I remember pulling them down.

I ran to the kitchen and then to the living room. He drank water I remembered, but there was no bottle in the table, nor could I find the candle anywhere.

How is that even possible? Was it just an imagination? Am I thinking of him a way too much or did he actually come here to see me one last time?

I went to my bedroom and looked in the mirror. I remembered him saying, 'without you I am dead.' I leant against the mirror and sobbed, "I know you were here. Please come back."