The Day You Went Away

It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone. And, soon, this bedroom, the house, the tiny garden outside, the trees they planted together all would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.

She hugged his pillow for a while and sat motionless to feel the warmth. She couldn't cry anymore but was unusually silent. She tied her dishevelled hair and walked slowly towards the washroom. As she walked she could feel how weak she had become. She didn't eat or sleep properly after his demise.

She looked at the mirror, her eyes were swollen and dark, her lips were chapped, her face was dry and she looked pale. She picked up the pink toothbrush and remembered his fascination for the colour pink. She tried to feel him in all possible ways and the touch of his toothbrush reminded her of their first kiss. As she wiped her face with his towel she decided never to wash it again to keep his aroma alive. While switching off the lights she remembered how he would always annoy her by switching it off from outside.

Slowly she walked towards the kitchen. It looked untidy and dirty with uncovered food and utensils lying on the floor. Without bothering to clean the mess she switched on the gas stove. She was addicted to the morning cup of tea but today she prepared a cup of coffee for herself with less sugar and no milk, just the way he loved it. As she sipped the coffee sitting in the corner of the sofa she went deep down the memory lane. His style of coffee never tasted so delicious before.

The day they first met, their fun-filled days of friendship, the day they both skipped their office to enjoy the rain, the day he proposed to her, the day they made love for the first time, all flashed one after the other. She had goosebumps, exactly like the one when he would touch her.

She lied in the sofa holding one of the cushions and gazed at the collage that was placed in the wall behind. He made this collage compiling the best photos shot by her. He would always encourage her for her passion for photography and she remembered how happy she was to receive such a thoughtful gift from him.

She missed him even more; she wanted him to appear right away, talk to her, annoy her, hug her or just lay beside her doing nothing. She was frustrated; she could not bear it anymore that he would never come back. She felt giddy but she desperately wanted to see him. Suddenly she remembered something and staggered to her bedroom. She opened the cupboard and started throwing away things till she found their wedding album.

One after the other she watched the videos of their wedding, honeymoon and holidays at Bali and Rome. She watched him walk, smile, dance and laugh without a blink. Tears that had dried up suddenly started rolling down her cheek again.

She screamed and cried out loud, "Why did you go? Why did you leave me? Please come back. Please."

The videos continued to play and she continued to cry. She started having a severe headache and somehow stumbled to the study table. She grabbed a pen and with blurry eyes and shaking hands she wrote, "I cannot live without you. I have decided to end my life. I love you. Nobody should be held responsible. I am sorry."

She placed the note on the table and stood still for a while. She didn't want to cry anymore but her tears didn't stop. She desperately started searching for a rope and found one in the laundry room. She slowly dragged a chair to the centre of the room, kissed his photo for the last time and fell on the ground crying inconsolably. Her heart was pounding hard and she was breathing heavily. Having no grip on the rope at all she made failed attempts to tie a noose.

Just then she heard the door bell ring. She paused for a moment but ignored and hurriedly tried to tie the noose. She could hear her parents bang on the door but she continued to struggle with the rope.

She somehow climbed up the chair but could not reach the ceiling which was way too high for her. She could hear them scream at the door. She fell on the ground and almost wriggled to drag a table. She placed the chair on the table and while she tried to climb she heard a loud thud at the door.

Her parents rushed in and screamed at what they saw. They pulled her away, removed the rope from her neck and hugged her.

She was scared, cold and breathed heavily while holding her mother as tightly as she could.

Earlier that day she had requested her parents to leave her alone for a day in her home that will not belong to her anymore. Her parents agreed but could not stay away from her for long and reached just in time. They were devastated to see that they were almost about to lose their dear daughter.

There was silence in the room and before anyone could say anything, a boy entered to deliver a package. Her father opened the box, it was a camera with the message, "To my love, I love your clicks and I love you more. Let's make some memories in Paris for the next collage. Love you forever."

She snatched away the piece of paper and read it repeatedly. She could visualize his smiling face. She was baffled to see how he continued to live even after he was gone. She wiped her tears and held the camera carefully. She stared at it with amazement, glided her finger through every part of it and said softly, "You are back!"

She looked up with teary eyes and said with a smile, "He's back." Her mother hugged her and she continued, "He always wanted to buy this for me. He wanted to fill this house with my photos."

She looked at the piece of paper with his message on it and said confidently, "I'll fulfil your wish."

She kept the camera aside, bowed down to her parents and said, "I am sorry. I was such a fool to think of committing suicide." She hugged her parents and said, "I promise never to think of this again. I'll live to fulfil his last wish."

Next month was her birthday and through his friend, she came to know how he had been secretly planning for a holiday in Paris. He wanted her to get accustomed to the new camera and that is how she received it so early and surprisingly at the very right time. His friend also helped her contact the travel agency to get the tickets and make required changes to travel alone.

It was not easy for her to convince her parents to let her travel alone but before that, there was another task she wanted to complete. The thought of losing their house kept haunting her. She met the housing authorities and learnt the process of retaining the house. It was a lengthy process but not impossible. She was out every day completing the documentation and other formalities. Finally, after a month of struggle, she regained the ownership of the house.

The first thing that found a special place in her home was his last message that she had now framed in a shining gold frame. She wanted it to be the brightest thing in the house. She looked at it for hours and could see him smile through his message.

The gold frame rested on a wooden chest which had drawers filled with his memories. She had carefully packed all his used things, his towel, toothbrush, comb, slippers, coffee mug, his favourite shirt, blanket, deodorant, shaving kit and also an empty packet of wafers that he loved. It was her favourite place in the house and most of the times she felt asleep beside the chest.

She loved sipping her morning cup of coffee in their small garden. The beauty of nature, the chirpy birds, the fragrance of flowers and the refreshing breeze would all give her the strength to stay alive for him.

It was time to leave for Paris, as per his plan, to fulfil his last wish. She assured her family to return safe and sound, she promised herself to make memories for him and left with a heavy heart and his last wish packed carefully in her suitcase.